Just fell off a train. Bad.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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