is your mom at the bar?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
