it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
