What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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