I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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