I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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