also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize