let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
