He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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