I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
