He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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