He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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