Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
