Small penises have feelings too.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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