well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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