oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
