K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
