I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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