It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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