Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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