its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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