Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
