dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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