I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
