I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
