If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
