All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
