I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
