I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
