I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
