I'm really into asian looking animals
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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