you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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