we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
