dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
