Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
