that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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