I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
