I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
