now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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