Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
