Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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