see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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