is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
