At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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