we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
