There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
