There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
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