Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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