She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize