can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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