Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
