I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I believe in your delicious
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
