If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
