i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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