I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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