My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my shit smells like andre
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
