she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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