I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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