is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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