I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize