bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you will always have a special place in my vag
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize