Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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